Posts Tagged ‘honesty in realtionships’

A little white lie never hurt anyone.  I am sure that this is something everyone has heard and something that we have all considered. There are a lot of reasons why people lie. We lie about things we are embarrassed about,  to get out of things we don’t want to do, to get a better deal, or to not get in trouble. These types of lies are seen by most people as a bad thing and we are encouraged as a kids to not tell these types of lies. But what about when you lie to make someone feel prettier or better about themselves or to not hurt someones feelings. When your spouse asks you how the food is, should you tell him or her when you don’t like it? Does this type of lie help or hurt a relationship?

Some  would argue that making a person feel better is ultimately more important than being honest. I believe that lies, no matter the intentions, ultimately deteriorate a relationship. The problem is that while the person may appreciate your fib to make them feel better, they won’t know if you are really telling the truth when you really give them a compliment. The more this happens the harder it gets for the person to tell the difference. Eventually, your words have no meaning at all regardless of whether you are sincere or not.

The person may not always like what you say when you tell the truth, but they will definitely respect you. Because they know they can trust you, you will be the one they come to when they really need honest advice. Now I am not saying that you should go out of your way to tell someone they have gained weight or you don’t like the food they cooked. However, constructive feedback is much more helpful than just making the person feel better. You are being honest with the person and also helping them improve. When you do give them a compliment, it has a much bigger effect because they know you really mean it.

So what do you think, do little white lies help or hurt a relationship? Is it better to make the person feel better or be constructively honest?