Posts Tagged ‘Confidence’

As many of you know, I recently quit my job in Tokyo and decided to move to the tropical island of Miyakojima (a small island southeast of Okinawa). While here I have met someone who has been at his job for about a year and is planning to try something new. He came here a couple of years ago and started his own business doing shiatsu massage (if you ever come to Miyakojima, you have to go), but has decided that he wants to study culture and history and so is planning to move to Tokyo and attend school. He feels that his business has been a great experience, but wants to get started on his new path as soon as possible. While most others are telling him to stick it out for a couple more years and then see how he fills. Since I have recently gone though something very similar myself, I wanted to give a short outline of how I came to this point. And also while it is important to finish what you start, how it can be just as important to know when to quit.

Here is a short time line of how I ended up on an island happier than I have been in a long time:

2004: I did a one year study abroad at Waseda University to study international business and Japanese

2005: Returned to the US to finish my degree and made plans to work in Japan

June 2006-Graduated with honors after 6 years ( had to take time off to help with my fathers company)

Sept 2006-May 2007: Entered jobs in a hurry (to keep my visa from running out) and didn’t take time to ask the right questions. Ended up in horrible working conditions and quit each job after only two months.

June 2008: Started working at a University as an admissions counselor. Found a great mentor and started reading books on personal development, finance, investing, time management, marketing, and sales.

Dec 2008: I put everything I learned to work and in just a few months I had developed a large savings and had become one of the top recruiters/counselors.

Jan-Feb 2008: I began to realize that I the job I was doing was not really where I wanted to be and started searching for other options.

May 2008-Read the book 4 Hour Work Week and realized I wasn’t the only one who felt working 9 to 5 40 hours a week didn’t make sense

June 2008- Took a 4 day trip to Miyakojima and proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years

July 2008-Was offered a better job, but turned it down, quit our jobs and made arrangements to move to Miyakojima

October 2008- Sold everything we owned and moved to Miyakojima

4 Days ago- Found an amazing apartment with a view of the ocean that costs less than half of what my apartment in Tokyo cost

2 Days ago-Had lunch at a local cafe (and drank the best milk tea I have ever had), snorkeled in the ocean, had a dinner with friends, and spent the evening at the beach watching the stars. It was absolutely amazing.

The point writing this time line is to give you an idea of how quickly I have quit somethings, and how quickly a serious of events can change. In about the time of a year, I went from hating my job in Tokyo to living in a tropical island.

Quitting to Get Ahead

To get the things you want, you need to focus all of your energy on them. In order to do so, you need to quit the things that aren’t moving you towards them. Whether it’s singers, dancers, athletes, or actors; they usually became the best by devoting all of their attention on achieving their goal. Seth Godin explains this point very well in his book “The Dip”.

Sometimes you must give up what you are currently doing to move ahead. Like Timothy Ferris says in the 4 Hour Work Week “There will never be a perfect time.” Quitting is made even more difficult since most people will tell you to stick with it just a little bit longer. This isn’t necessarily smart, it’s just the way that it was done for so long people continue to think it’s right.

Moving in the Right Direction

So how do you know if you are moving in the right direction? First you need to set your goals and your plans. The more clearly you can define them the easier obtaining them will be. Make sure they are your goals and what you really want. It’s no fun to end up at your goals and realize that you put in a lot of work and obtained something that doesn’t make you happy. Write down the things you need to do to obtain your goals. Are things you are currently doing helping you achieve your goals? If not then maybe it is time to find something that better aligns with them.

You may make the wrong choices and have failures. This is perfectly okay. The key is to learn from them. I made a number of bad decisions in my career, but I would gain valuable information and experiences each time. I am actually grateful for them because they helped me to learn things I might not have found otherwise. Putting myself in a bad position motivated me to learn more and try and keep myself out of it again.

Making Quitting Easier

The easiest way to make quitting easier is by finishing and succeeding. This may sound a little weird, but let me explain. The reason that I was able to quit my jobs easily and give up my entire life in Tokyo and move someplace new was because of my past success. I have actually quite very few things. Once I set my mind to something I keep working until I am satisfied with the results. Knowing that I can accomplish what I put my mind to gives me the confidence to quit one thing and start something new.

As a child I used to continue to do things even though I no longer found any interest or enjoyment in them. I listened to my elders who said that you should always finish something that you start. And in some ways this makes sense. Completing something gives you confidence and pleasure. However, if you choose the wrong thing then you are wasting your time. I think the key is to choose the things that matter and finish them, quite the things you choose incorrectly, and don’t start the things you don’t plan to finish. Doing so will allow you to move steadily and efficiently towards your goals while at the same time gaining more and more confidence.

When I am making a big decision, and many times even for the smaller ones, I tend to consult my friends and family. Doing so has helped me make a lot of good decisions and pass on a lot of bad ones. It is a great idea to learn from others mistakes. However, there are also times when you must trust your own judgment and pursue your own goals regardless of what people tell you. This is especially true when you are doing something out of the normal.

If you decide to do something out of the ordinary, something new, or something that is difficult; your friends and family may try to advise you against it. Now it is important to listen to someone who has been through a similar situation, but just because they failed does not mean that you will as well. In fact, understanding their failure may help you succeed.

There will also be people who tell you that something is impossible even though they themselves have never done it. Even though they know very little about the subject and may have no experience, they may be able to give you a million reasons why you can’t do it. Though they are really giving you reasons why they can’t do it. If someone is afraid to do something they also want everyone else to be afraid. If everyone is afraid then it is the normal and they can feel better about it.

I have made a number of decisions in my life that have been out of the normal and I have received quite a bit of resistance from friends and family at times. Choosing to study in Japan, to work in Tokyo, and now to quit my job and start my own business to name a few. There are a few things I have done that have allowed me to follow and succeed at my dreams.

1. Research- Try to gain as much information about a subject as possible. The more you know about something the less risky the decision is.
2. Know yourself-know your limitations, strengths, and weaknesses when starting something.
3. Finish what you start- The more you complete the confidence and motivation you will gain.
4. Know who to ask for advice- Some people give much better advice than others. Note it may not always be the advice you want to hear.
5. Think big- Set your goals high. These are usually the things with the biggest rewards.
6. Don’t be afraid to fail- Some of the biggest successes come from huge failures. You will never learn if you are afraid to fail.
7. Tell the “negative people” once you have already started- They will be much less likely to try and stop you are moving forward.

I have received a lot of great advice over the years, but I have also received a lot of bad advice. The one important thing is to follow your dreams. If you want something bad enough and are willing to persevere, then you can do it.